October 12
Laura M., age 15, North Carolina
October 12, 1997
Chilled with Ashley. Me and Mom, Kathy went 2 Bill Brantley’s 4 a few hours and chatted. (Writing.) Came home and did project. Talked 2 Karen. Curious about 2morrow with Mike.
Fran M., age 30, Illinois
October 12, 1994
Since last week I have been feeling a lot less angry at M____, though still not sure I’ll ever want to try to have a just-friends relationship with him. I am losing the bitter image of him as a selfish jerk who did something inexcusable. I half woke up one night with a totally new, neutral feeling toward him. It is hard to describe. I couldn’t quite conjure him up as the person I miss nor as the person I hate. Previously, I constantly had him on my mind as both of those things, and never as just a person I used to spend a lot of time with. The contradictory feelings drove me nuts (and may again). But when I woke up that night after a dream I couldn’t remember, that burden was gone.
Anna L., age 75, Illinois
October 12, 1960
Men came at 10 sharp to do windows. Took them less than one hour. Went to Carries 2 or 3 times. Lo picked her up at 12:30 to go to the church luncheon. I went over later. Mrs. Elfin went to Marges, Mrs. B. came in, also Mrs. McB. On way home had long chat with Katherine Renich.
Marcy S., age 46, North Carolina
October 12, 1970
I often wonder if everyone (or most people) has the same struggle to find himself and be himself that I do. Probably so.
I wish I felt more mature — I suppose it’s because the anxieties and fears that I suffered as a teen-ager are still plaguing me, and this makes me feel like a case of arrested development, as if I’m still in my teens emotionally.
My lack of confidence, timidity in asserting myself, fear of rejection (and of acceptance) and desire to withdraw are deeply ingrained habits. I have overcome them at times by a conscious mental effort to be friendly or interested or confident, as the case may be.
The mental image I have of myself as a timid, insecure, immature person is what keeps getting in the way, and what I need to change.
Maybe if I think about what maturity means it will help. A mature person is more concerned about the needs of other people than he is about his own. He doesn’t take himself too seriously — he can laugh at himself. He is kind, gentle, and compassionate in a natural, unpretentious way. He is sincerely and consistently friendly and interested in others. He is honest and has the courage of his convictions. He can admit he is wrong and say “I’m sorry” graciously. He listens when someone else is talking and tries to really hear.
Henry S., age 26, Michigan
October 12, 1887
I went up to the chapel exercises this morning to see about class in Bookkeeping and Penmanship. The students want the classes but I can’t teach until the room is fixed up and some tables made and it is hard to tell when the management of the instruction will get things ready for me. Put building paper on the overhead part of the kitchen this afternoon. It has been a terribly windy day. Went to the sing tonight.
*(R. Henry Scadin Collection, D.H. Ramsey Library Special Collections, UNC Asheville)
Cornelia H., age 26, North Carolina
October 12, 1862
Cool, cloudy & has been raining. It rained a good deal yesterday evening & last night. I did not rest well as Pinck called for water several times last night & I was sick myself. We had a very nice fat opossum yesterday for dinner & I eat too much. I was up a time or two. Pinck & Zona seem well enough this morning. It is quite cool & the wind feels like Autumn is upon us. Mr. Henry is laying down in my room. He lays down a good deal with his back. I am in the side room writing, my hands & feet are getting very cold so I will soon stop & it is getting time for dinner as it is one o’clock. I want to write to Lou Davenport this evening. I did not write to Lou. Mr. Henry & I started to walk this evening. Pinck & Zona saw us & started after us. We came back to them as Zona took one of her staggery spells. I think they are caused by worms. We went up to see the fattening hogs. There are some very nice ones among them. Mr. Henry has near 90 to slaughter this year. It sprinkled rain a little before we got back. Zona was with us.
*(Fear in North Carolina: The Civil War Journals and Letters of the Henry Family, Eds. Karen L. Clinard and Richard Russell, used with permission.)
Samuel P., age 34, London
October 12, 1667
Up, and eat our breakfast, and set out about nine o’clock, and so to Barnett, where we staid and baited, the weather very good all day and yesterday, and by five o’clock got home, where I find all well; and did bring my gold, to my heart’s content, very safe home, having not this day carried it in a basket, but in our hands: the girl took care of one, and my wife another bag, and I the rest, I being afraid of the bottom of the coach, lest it should break, and therefore was at more ease in my mind than I was yesterday. At home we find that Sir W. Batten’s burial was to-day carried from hence, with a hundred or two of coaches, to Walthamstow, and there buried. Here I hear by Mr. Pierce the surgeon; and then by Mr. Lewes, and also by Mr. Hater, that the Parliament hath met on Thursday last, and adjourned to Monday next. The King did make them a very kind speech, promising them to leave all to them to do, and call to account what and whom they pleased; and declared by my Lord Keeper how many, thirty-six, actes he had done since he saw them; among others, disbanding the army, and putting all Papists out of employment, and displacing persons that had managed their business ill, that the Parliament is mightily pleased with the King’s speech, and voted giving him thanks for what he said and hath done; and, among things, would by name thank him for displacing my Lord Chancellor, for which a great many did speak in the House, but it was opposed by some, and particularly Harry Coventry, who got that it should be put to a Committee to consider what particulars to mention in their thanks to the King, saying that it was too soon to give thanks for the displacing of a man, before they knew or had examined what was the cause of his displacing. And so it rested; but this do shew that they are and will be very high; and Mr. Pierce do tell me that he fears, and do hear, that it hath been said among them, that they will move for the calling my Lord Sandwich home, to bring him to account; which do trouble me mightily; but I trust it will not be so. Anon comes home Sir W. Pen from the burial, and he and I to walk in the garden, where he did confirm the most of this news, and so to talk of our particular concernments, and among the rest he says that Lady Batten and her children-in-law are all broke in pieces, and that there is but 800l. found in the world, of money; and is in great doubt what we shall do towards the doing ourselves right with them, about the prize-money. This troubles me, but we will fall to work upon that next week close. Then he tells me he did deliver my petition into the hands of Sir W. Coventry, who did take it with great kindness and promised to present it to the Duke of York, and that himself has since seen the Duke of York, but it was in haste, and thinks the Duke of York did tell him that the thing was done, but he is confident that it either is or will be done. This do please me mightily. So after a little talk more I away home to supper with John Bowles and brother and wife (who, I perceive, is already a little jealous of my being fond of Willet, but I will avoid giving her any cause to continue in that mind, as much as possible), and before that did go with Sir W. Pen to my Lady Batten, whom I had not seen since she was a widow, which she took unkindly, but I did excuse it; and the house being full of company, and of several factions, she against the children, and they against one another and her, I away, and home to supper, and after supper to bed.
*(The Diary of Samuel Pepys M.A. F.R.S., edited by Henry B. Wheatley F.S.A., London, George Bell & Sons York St. Covent Garden, Cambridge Deighton Bell & Co., 1893.)